Interview with a Five Year Old: Vivi

She is..by any definition...quite possibly the most unique and interesting 5 year old on earth. Her name is Vivi. Her randomness and quirky comments keep us on edge any time an adult nears, or addresses her. She's unpredictable. Her sentences are becoming more sensible now in her old age. However, that hasn't always been the case. For example, a typical Vivi comment while eating dinner could be, "I like the macaroni cheese in the duck cloud" or "Eli looks like a giraffe salt mushroom candle face." Shes very eloquent and her words are quite proper. Unfortunately, she hasn't quite figured out how to unscramble her words into order.

In her world things make sense. Pouring chocolate syrup on the cat is what the cat really wants her to do( in her eyes.) Telling Eli there is an evil monster waiting on him in his bedroom is just random conversation. Changing clothes 15 times a day, playing a different character with each outfit, is common around here. She loves to be sweet and can say the sweetest things, but it always is followed by, "now can I have a popsicle?"

She is the master manipulator, the queen of sugar, the dress up princess, the cat's mortal enemy, the know-more-than-you already girl, the snuggler, the smuggler, the dancer, and candy hoarder.

But most of all, she smiles and laughs during every waking hour, with dimples so big you could get lost in them. Her eyes are the most unique blue you will ever see. She is the first to greet a guest and saves her hugs for last when they leave. Her love for listening to and singing Taylor Swift songs is adorable. And on bad days, it is Vivi's unique loving weirdness that can lift anyone.

Sitting on a kitchen stool while licking the icing off of the cinnamon rolls, I decided to give her a brief interview. Her hair...well...

Robert
So Vivi, I see your hair is not quite awake yet. Can you describe what's going on?

Vivi
Um. (smiling of course) I forgot to brush it cuz I was asleep.

Robert
Ok. I see. Well I see that the cinnamon rolls that we are all enjoying this morning look different than yours. What's the difference?

Vivi
(looking at ours)...I like the icing. It tastes better than the meat.

Robert
If you could have the perfect breakfast, what would it be, Vivi. You seem a little hard to please sometimes.

Vivi
Tomatoes

Robert
(gasping) oh really? (btw...ANY vegetable is repulsive to her) So, can I cut you up a tomato now? Let's eat one.

Vivi
No..no! No! I meant macaroni and cheese.

Robert
Yeah, I can see how those two can be confusing. So, here's a new book Vivi. Can you tell me about the cover?

Vivi
The guy (on the front cover) is looking.

Robert
Who is this guy?

Vivi
George Washington. Our president.

Robert
Our president now?

Vivi
(rolling her eyes as if I'm the stupidest American alive) duh, yeeeees. And hes going to chop down the tree (on the front cover) and he has wooden teeth.

Robert
Ok. I can see that. And you're right. He is our president, and we will soon be going to war with the British and he will kead us to victory! King Charles must die!

(three kids staring at me..crickets chirping)

Robert
It was a joke. Uh..ok. Well, what is the book about, Vivi?

Vivi
Um Hospital.

Robert
What? What do you mean?

Vivi
You and mommy. At the hospital.

(and no one out there get your hopes up. This is NOT what the book is about)

Robert
Ok. You're scaring me. Can you read a little to me from chapter 11?

(Vivi grabs the the book-MY ONLY COPY-with sticky, icing-smothered fingers.

Vivi
It's number 11 but I can't read to good.

Robert
Ok then. You're not a lot of help ya know. Lets change the subject, since your teachers from last year have obviously taught you nothing. (just kidding Mrs. Moore) If there is one thing you could tell the world..or maybe even leave us all today with bit of advice, what would it be?

Vivi
(in deep thought)
If you get on the monkey bars with scissors you'll fall and hurt your eye.

Robert
You're right Vivi. I'm sure this particular urge is eating away at most of us. But thanks to you, the world is now a safer place.


So there ya go. I could honestly fill up an entire blog with vivi(isms)...little quotes, words of advice or random things that keep us all entertained around here. I'll save those for later.

Stay tuned for more. ;)