Friday, July 29, 2011

Interview with a Five Year Old: Vivi

She is..by any definition...quite possibly the most unique and interesting 5 year old on earth. Her name is Vivi. Her randomness and quirky comments keep us on edge any time an adult nears, or addresses her. She's unpredictable. Her sentences are becoming more sensible now in her old age. However, that hasn't always been the case. For example, a typical Vivi comment while eating dinner could be, "I like the macaroni cheese in the duck cloud" or "Eli looks like a giraffe salt mushroom candle face." Shes very eloquent and her words are quite proper. Unfortunately, she hasn't quite figured out how to unscramble her words into order.

In her world things make sense. Pouring chocolate syrup on the cat is what the cat really wants her to do( in her eyes.) Telling Eli there is an evil monster waiting on him in his bedroom is just random conversation. Changing clothes 15 times a day, playing a different character with each outfit, is common around here. She loves to be sweet and can say the sweetest things, but it always is followed by, "now can I have a popsicle?"

She is the master manipulator, the queen of sugar, the dress up princess, the cat's mortal enemy, the know-more-than-you already girl, the snuggler, the smuggler, the dancer, and candy hoarder.

But most of all, she smiles and laughs during every waking hour, with dimples so big you could get lost in them. Her eyes are the most unique blue you will ever see. She is the first to greet a guest and saves her hugs for last when they leave. Her love for listening to and singing Taylor Swift songs is adorable. And on bad days, it is Vivi's unique loving weirdness that can lift anyone.

Sitting on a kitchen stool while licking the icing off of the cinnamon rolls, I decided to give her a brief interview. Her hair...well...

Robert
So Vivi, I see your hair is not quite awake yet. Can you describe what's going on?

Vivi
Um. (smiling of course) I forgot to brush it cuz I was asleep.

Robert
Ok. I see. Well I see that the cinnamon rolls that we are all enjoying this morning look different than yours. What's the difference?

Vivi
(looking at ours)...I like the icing. It tastes better than the meat.

Robert
If you could have the perfect breakfast, what would it be, Vivi. You seem a little hard to please sometimes.

Vivi
Tomatoes

Robert
(gasping) oh really? (btw...ANY vegetable is repulsive to her) So, can I cut you up a tomato now? Let's eat one.

Vivi
No..no! No! I meant macaroni and cheese.

Robert
Yeah, I can see how those two can be confusing. So, here's a new book Vivi. Can you tell me about the cover?

Vivi
The guy (on the front cover) is looking.

Robert
Who is this guy?

Vivi
George Washington. Our president.

Robert
Our president now?

Vivi
(rolling her eyes as if I'm the stupidest American alive) duh, yeeeees. And hes going to chop down the tree (on the front cover) and he has wooden teeth.

Robert
Ok. I can see that. And you're right. He is our president, and we will soon be going to war with the British and he will kead us to victory! King Charles must die!

(three kids staring at me..crickets chirping)

Robert
It was a joke. Uh..ok. Well, what is the book about, Vivi?

Vivi
Um Hospital.

Robert
What? What do you mean?

Vivi
You and mommy. At the hospital.

(and no one out there get your hopes up. This is NOT what the book is about)

Robert
Ok. You're scaring me. Can you read a little to me from chapter 11?

(Vivi grabs the the book-MY ONLY COPY-with sticky, icing-smothered fingers.

Vivi
It's number 11 but I can't read to good.

Robert
Ok then. You're not a lot of help ya know. Lets change the subject, since your teachers from last year have obviously taught you nothing. (just kidding Mrs. Moore) If there is one thing you could tell the world..or maybe even leave us all today with bit of advice, what would it be?

Vivi
(in deep thought)
If you get on the monkey bars with scissors you'll fall and hurt your eye.

Robert
You're right Vivi. I'm sure this particular urge is eating away at most of us. But thanks to you, the world is now a safer place.


So there ya go. I could honestly fill up an entire blog with vivi(isms)...little quotes, words of advice or random things that keep us all entertained around here. I'll save those for later.

Stay tuned for more. ;)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Interview with a Four Year Old

I sit here with a certain smirk. Across from me on this soon to be-blazing July morning is a three year old, blonde-headed little boy, soon to turn four. He is always up at the crack of dawn and loves to take naps. While most little children will be up soon in their pajamas and jacked up hair, Eli is wide awake and is standing in front of me dressed as if he is about to go outside to build a snowman. He is wearing a zipped up, hooded jacket so thick that an Eskimo would sweat in the dead of winter.

With my book in hand, I will proceed to ask this little child some questions in hopes of giving you some insight into the book. Enjoy;)

Robert
So Eli, I see you're wearing a big red coat this morning. What's that all about?

Eli
Uh supsin bibbi wuz maykin a bi mess un I taw it un it wuz code. Translation-(big mess. He saw it. And he was cold)

Robert
Your 4th birthday will be in a few days. Can you tell me what things you hope to accomplish in this upcoming year as you tackle preschool?

Eli
Transformers.

Robert
Great. I see you have put a lot of thought into that. I see you holding my new book soon to be released. How does it look?

Eli
Good. Mmmmm it pwetty. Wook cool un awesome on da back.

Robert
Thank you Eli. That's very kind of you. Now as you browse the pages, what are your thoughts on the book and it's message?

Eli
What's forw bweakfast?

Robert
Eli, answer the question.

Eli
I dunt know ipf I can wead it....one, two, twee, pour, pibe....

Robert
Ok, ok...I get the picture. stop counting. So can you at least tell me a little bit about the characters in the book?

Eli
Da twansformows stuck on da moon. Can I hab a pop tawat?

Robert
You sure are evasive. Ok one last question Eli, and thanks again for joining me this morning prior to every kid in the world waking up. What do you hope the readers will gain from the lessons in the book?

Eli
Bout Jesus...n..bibbi's hayuw (translation- Vivi's hair)un the cat

Robert
Ok. Well thanks again, Eli for your theological perspective on the book and I appreciate your time.

Eli
Can I hab a poptawat now?

---------------

I hope you gained a little more insight into the book. Please stay tuned for what I am sure will be the interview of a lifetime as I interview the most interring and unpredictable child on eart, 5 year old, Vivi tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The countdowns have begun

So. It's late...I've had a long day. The devil cat is asleep in my lap...resting till his next assault on an unsuspecting table leg, lamp shade or human face.

Just a few thoughts before the iPad slips through my grasp and I go into a deep snoring coma.

The book finally arrived. Remember that scene from Back to the Future where the "used-to-be-nerdy-but-now-he's-cool" Marty McFly opens the box and unveils his completed science fiction book? Ok. I kind of felt like Marty. It has been over a year in the making, and it finally arrived via UPS. I am sure the good people at Crossbooks will be glad to know I won't be harassing them much more, they have finally produced a polished book that I am happy with.

It has been a long journey. One that I have learned a great deal from. Whether or not the book sells 50 copies or 50,000...this books success will be measured by how you, the readers of this book take it's message to heart.

So. Without further adue. (is that how you spell adue?) I give you the countdown.

36 days till the official release of the book. It will be the biggest event since Apple's unveiling of the iPhone. Fortunately, you have 36 days to prepare yourself, call your friends, order pizza and sit in front of your laptops awaiting the moment it goes live to purchase your copy.

8 days till my cruise. I'm headed to Mexico. There's no stopping me either. I will answer all call in the order in which it was received. This includes, text, Facebook, email, voicemail and US mail. It is a much needed trip with my wife.

Seriously. It's late. I'll wake up in the morning and probably delete this because I've already dozed off twice while writing and I don't have the frame of mind to go back and proofread.

Next blog...I will be interviewing a random 4 year old on his thoughts on the book. ;)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The feeling of helplessness

This past week has been an eye-opening experience for us at the house. Coupled with stress of everyday decision making that we all must do in order to maintain stability at home and at the workplace, we have found that it is impossible to control those things that come unexpectedly.  Working summer school, we were looking forward to having a little extra money to "catch up".  Unfortuately, that is never the case.  It seems that something always comes up.  Deedee and I were really looking forward to going on a cruise this summer--taking the honeymoon that we never really got to take. We are still going. But the bills are adding up.

We booked it.  The next day, the air conditioner died.  Finding the money to pay for it left us in a helpless position.  To top it off, the little 3 year old developed painful ulcers in his mouth from a virus..that we could not fix.  No matter our efforts, nothing really eased his pain.  We were once again helpless.

Now, the other two have caught this mean little virus.  We know what is ahead for them.  Theres really nothing we can do but wait, do our best to relieve them, then let nature run its painful course. 

This is only a small, minute example of how small we really are.  I think that the bad things that happen--those things that make us feel helpless are perfect examples of how God reminds us that we need something bigger than ourselves.  No matter how advanced our society becomes, or how much we feel that we accomplish under our own power, in the grand scheme of things, we are incapable of controling everything.  We are only a speck in the universe--a breath away from eternity elsewhere.  That is the truth. 

Steven Curtis Chapman said it best in his song titled, "Hiding Place":

"Im not asking you to take away my troubles, Lord
because its through the stormy weather, that I learn to trust you more"

The storms will come. But he always offers hope when it passes.