Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Diary of the Meanest Kitten on Earth:
Day 9 of my captivity:
I am six weeks old, but I know too much already. I have successfully disarmed and forced into retreat the little ones they call "kids" by digging my claws into their flesh. The disgusting creature they call a "dog" has made his attempt to regain territory that I have taken over. The "dog" now has one eye. The larger humanoid named, "Robert" has been under my control since day one. While he sleeps I carve encrypted codes into his skin with my claws and teeth, alerting those on the outside my coordinates. The one they call "DeeDee" has further enabled my control by effectively eliminating "dog" from this prison camp and weakening "Robert's" defenses by confusing my calculative measures with "cuteness". Tonight, as I lurk quietly in the shadows, I will be laying the groundwork for my 350th ambush on "Robert's" foot as he unknowingly nears. As his skin becomes more and more leathery from scarring, I anticipate targeting new, and more effective areas for outside encrypted communications. Tomorrow I will suck him in with something cute, and latch onto his face, carving out my dietary demands in his flesh for all to see.
Stay tuned for my upcoming plans on deceiving "dog" by luring him into the oven "DeeDee" left open.
Day 10 of my captivity:
I have discovered that the larger humanoid, "Robert", is allergic to cats. I find this interesting With each swath of my paw through a 1/4 inch of skin I have observed increased swelling and irritation unlike the others in this prison. His sneezing is amusing. I will use this to my advantage in the near future. He has called me "kryptonite". I must discover what this means.
My captors are now utilizing cruel and unusual punishments in this prison. Last night I was forced to share my sleeping quarters with "dog". I studied the much clumsier mobility of "dog" and waited patiently for the lights to turn out With stealthy precision, I inched within breathing distance and spit in "dog's" good eye. Dog retreated immediately to another cell block on the back porch.
I have also been tortured by a balloon which dances in the ceiling while my jailers are at "work". The string, which dangles from the balloon, is only inches from my grasp. I cannot-regardless of all my efforts-attain this ultimate prize which torments me. It just whips constantly in a breeze, stirring up a frustration inside me that I cannot contain.
Tonight's agenda. 1. Uncover any truth to a rumor that an aquarium with live fish will soon be arriving here. 2. Toes
Day 18 of my captivity:Ohhhh. Game on! I was hoping I wouldn't have to dig into my instinctive bag of tricks. But after a recent string of events, I must now plot my ambushes on an entirely new level.
First, my captors have named me "Millie". As in, female "Millie". I have been forced to wear a ridiculous "cute" colar with an annoying bell that rings with every movement I make. I cannot catch this bell no matter how hard I chase it in circles. It is exhausting.
Second, my jailers picked me up and dropped me off in a cage at my initial prison, Vestavia Animal Clinic while they apparently went on vacation. Nice. Hope they had a great time. While they were gone it was revealed to me-a truth that I will forever make them pay.
I am not a female. Yes. In case you were sneezing and missed it, I will say it again. I, "Millie", am in fact a MALE kitten. This of course, as would be for any "male", was ego shattering...much to my captors' amusement upon return from "vacation".
The pink bowls from which I have been fed remain, and the cute collar still rings. I am still treated like a female prisoner. The larger humanoid, "Robert", still refers to me as a "she". This angers me. To make matters worse they changed my name to "Opie". What a stupid name. I am now "Opie the Cat".
I am now gender confused and trapped in this prison. I carved out more code into the flesh of "Robert's" feet repeatedly as it waved to me in the floor.
Operation Gash and Dash has now been elevated to critical status. I will not be imprisoned and humiliated any further.
Tomorrows agenda: discover what is inside the fridge. It seems to be a popular destination around here.
To be continued...
I am six weeks old, but I know too much already. I have successfully disarmed and forced into retreat the little ones they call "kids" by digging my claws into their flesh. The disgusting creature they call a "dog" has made his attempt to regain territory that I have taken over. The "dog" now has one eye. The larger humanoid named, "Robert" has been under my control since day one. While he sleeps I carve encrypted codes into his skin with my claws and teeth, alerting those on the outside my coordinates. The one they call "DeeDee" has further enabled my control by effectively eliminating "dog" from this prison camp and weakening "Robert's" defenses by confusing my calculative measures with "cuteness". Tonight, as I lurk quietly in the shadows, I will be laying the groundwork for my 350th ambush on "Robert's" foot as he unknowingly nears. As his skin becomes more and more leathery from scarring, I anticipate targeting new, and more effective areas for outside encrypted communications. Tomorrow I will suck him in with something cute, and latch onto his face, carving out my dietary demands in his flesh for all to see.
Stay tuned for my upcoming plans on deceiving "dog" by luring him into the oven "DeeDee" left open.
Day 10 of my captivity:
I have discovered that the larger humanoid, "Robert", is allergic to cats. I find this interesting With each swath of my paw through a 1/4 inch of skin I have observed increased swelling and irritation unlike the others in this prison. His sneezing is amusing. I will use this to my advantage in the near future. He has called me "kryptonite". I must discover what this means.
My captors are now utilizing cruel and unusual punishments in this prison. Last night I was forced to share my sleeping quarters with "dog". I studied the much clumsier mobility of "dog" and waited patiently for the lights to turn out With stealthy precision, I inched within breathing distance and spit in "dog's" good eye. Dog retreated immediately to another cell block on the back porch.
I have also been tortured by a balloon which dances in the ceiling while my jailers are at "work". The string, which dangles from the balloon, is only inches from my grasp. I cannot-regardless of all my efforts-attain this ultimate prize which torments me. It just whips constantly in a breeze, stirring up a frustration inside me that I cannot contain.
Tonight's agenda. 1. Uncover any truth to a rumor that an aquarium with live fish will soon be arriving here. 2. Toes
Day 18 of my captivity:Ohhhh. Game on! I was hoping I wouldn't have to dig into my instinctive bag of tricks. But after a recent string of events, I must now plot my ambushes on an entirely new level.
First, my captors have named me "Millie". As in, female "Millie". I have been forced to wear a ridiculous "cute" colar with an annoying bell that rings with every movement I make. I cannot catch this bell no matter how hard I chase it in circles. It is exhausting.
Second, my jailers picked me up and dropped me off in a cage at my initial prison, Vestavia Animal Clinic while they apparently went on vacation. Nice. Hope they had a great time. While they were gone it was revealed to me-a truth that I will forever make them pay.
I am not a female. Yes. In case you were sneezing and missed it, I will say it again. I, "Millie", am in fact a MALE kitten. This of course, as would be for any "male", was ego shattering...much to my captors' amusement upon return from "vacation".
The pink bowls from which I have been fed remain, and the cute collar still rings. I am still treated like a female prisoner. The larger humanoid, "Robert", still refers to me as a "she". This angers me. To make matters worse they changed my name to "Opie". What a stupid name. I am now "Opie the Cat".
I am now gender confused and trapped in this prison. I carved out more code into the flesh of "Robert's" feet repeatedly as it waved to me in the floor.
Operation Gash and Dash has now been elevated to critical status. I will not be imprisoned and humiliated any further.
Tomorrows agenda: discover what is inside the fridge. It seems to be a popular destination around here.
To be continued...
Monday, June 27, 2011
An open letter to the Southside Community: Remembering Paul Walden
As many of you know, I have written a book, titled The Walk to Walden Hillwhich will be released in July or August.
What most people don't know is the main character is one most who lived in Southside, will remember...Paul Walden. Though the story is fiction, much of the character of the "real" Walden resides in the pages of the book.
If you lived in this community for a while, then you remember these names:
"Spider", who came around us at football practice in the late 1980s. He told dirty jokes and had to be at least 130 years old. He reminded me of Ole"Blue" from the movie Old School with Will Ferrell.
Barney Hood. We named a stadium after him. A longtime Southside resident and coach, Barney was a fixture at sporting events, contributing in so many countless ways. I know of several boys who attended college on his generosity.
"Egg". Where the current Shell station now sits in Southside used to be an old service station. Perched on an old bench, you could always find him relaxing with a whole lot of nothing to say.
These were all wonderful, kind and interesting men in their later years who made an impression on many of us as young adults. There was one old man that really stood out to me in particular:
Raise your hand if you remember Paul Walden. In Mr. Lloyd Cleveland and Mr. Jimmy Sewell's Shop class (Ag), it was common to take the field trip to prune his peach trees. He was always around supporting the Southside baseball and football teams in the 80s and 90s. I don't remember the first time I met the man, I just remember him always being a faithful supporter. As time passed, Mr. Walden became more than a supporter, he became a trusted friend. I was regularly with him in his final years, helping with his garden or just sitting in his kitchen, talking about anything. His stories were typically repetitive, but I loved hearing them.
Over time, he became like family to me. In his final years, Mr. Waldens health slowly declined to the point to where he was placed in a nursing home, not too long after Grace passed away. He missed her so much and I could tell that she was indeed part of him.
I wanted to preserve Mr. Walden. Though he is definitely a larger than life character in this book, he surely lives in it. The town of "Milton" is different, but you'll recognize Southside in the descriptions. The Coosa is replaced by the "Tennessee" and lots of the names are different, but it's still visible in my head.
Please comment if you remember him or the other prominent men who played a part in your life in the community.
Hope you will all buy the book! It will be out soon.
Robert Abernathy
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Book preview, The Walk to Walden Hill
What is like lose it all?
How do you respond to life’s punches when it seems even God doesn’t care?
Josh Billows has lived it. Even while losing his mother to a tragic accident and his father to prison at an early age, Josh was forced to cope with further misfortunes in the foster care system. He never felt safe; he never felt loved. It seemed the world had failed a scared little boy...and the nightmares began.
Old Paul Walden, an eighty-two-year-old neighbor with a mysterious past, hears the call to a young man’s silent plea for help. Though he spends his days caring for his ill wife, Mr. Walden takes on the difficult task of watching over the young man in the foster home across the street and redirecting his path—one step at a time. Josh begins to realize from Mr. Walden’s crafty and puzzling lessons that he must confront the roots of his nightmares and do the unthinkable. Forgive.
A page turning epic, The Walk to Walden Hill is a close look at the emotional and spiritual aftermath of abandonment and the overwhelming feelings of fear, self-doubt, and crushed hope experienced by children in the foster care system. Unlike other stories with a similar beginning, Josh does not experience healing through education or an undiscovered talent. Instead, Josh’s life is rescued by something simple: a hero who cared enough to show the way.
-2011 ACM Silver Novel Award Winner
Robert Abernathy
Available in all eBook formats and book retailers in August, 2011.
Available in all eBook formats and book retailers in August, 2011.
Abernathy's Author Blog: Young Earth vs Old Earth Creationist Part 1
Abernathy's Author Blog: Young Earth vs Old Earth Creationist Part 1: "I had the opportunity to go to a conference in Birmingham a few nights ago, titled 'In the Beginning...' The overall purpose of the confere..."
Young Earth vs Old Earth Creationist Part 1
I had the opportunity to go to a conference in Birmingham a few nights ago, titled "In the Beginning..." The overall purpose of the conference was to share opposing view points on the creation event. It has been a long-accepted view within the chuch for over a millineum that the literal 6-day creation was fact. Modern day science seemed to conflict with this belief.
The opposing viewpoints from Terry Mortenson (Young Earth Creationist) and Hugh Ross (Old Earth Creationist) were all valid points that could be made. However, Hugh Ross made some points that really stuck out in my head.
I will post a series of thoughts I have on this topic. The first topic is very elementary: the existence of SPIDERS. First we have to look at th Young Earth Creationist basic viewpoint.
YOUNG EARTH MODEL
The young earth model teaches a literal 6 day creation and that everything was created between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. The fall of man (Adam's sin) brought death into existance. In other words, before Adam sinned, nothing died. There were no carnivores on the earth, only herbivores. God made the earth and the universe in 6 literal days.
Where I disagree:
First, I am not Agnostic or an Athiest, though my response could possibly give that impression. I only disagree with the 6 day creation theology.
SPIDERS
Since God created the creatures, he obviously created spiders. I know this may sound elementary, but the very existence of spiders is designed to trap prey and kill. What use is the web in an environment where a herbivorous spider exists? None. Spiders kill. So do tigers and lions and the fossilized dinosaurs that were complete killing machines. What did a T-Rex with those teeth? banannas? What kind of diet did Jaws have in the ocean? Our life cycle is completely dependant on a chain. Anchovies live of plankton. Larger fish live off anchovies. There is no intelligent explanation out there that a young earth creationist can give that will convince me that death did not exist before the fall of man. It is impossible-given the physical and biolocical laws that God created. He didnt just create life. He created the laws that govern life. He didnt just create gravity. He created the LAWS that govern gravity.
God created all things for their unique purposes. To create a herbivorous (plant-eating) spider, shark, tiger or T-Rex--then--suddenly slam on the brakes and change its diet to a carnivorous one SPEEDS UP the evolutionary time table exponentially. Look at any carnivorous creature and you will see God's perfect design in it. A beautiful spider web. A beautifully muscualar tiger. Beautifully created, Carnivores.
Next: Part two: Adam
The opposing viewpoints from Terry Mortenson (Young Earth Creationist) and Hugh Ross (Old Earth Creationist) were all valid points that could be made. However, Hugh Ross made some points that really stuck out in my head.
I will post a series of thoughts I have on this topic. The first topic is very elementary: the existence of SPIDERS. First we have to look at th Young Earth Creationist basic viewpoint.
YOUNG EARTH MODEL
The young earth model teaches a literal 6 day creation and that everything was created between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. The fall of man (Adam's sin) brought death into existance. In other words, before Adam sinned, nothing died. There were no carnivores on the earth, only herbivores. God made the earth and the universe in 6 literal days.
Where I disagree:
First, I am not Agnostic or an Athiest, though my response could possibly give that impression. I only disagree with the 6 day creation theology.
SPIDERS
Since God created the creatures, he obviously created spiders. I know this may sound elementary, but the very existence of spiders is designed to trap prey and kill. What use is the web in an environment where a herbivorous spider exists? None. Spiders kill. So do tigers and lions and the fossilized dinosaurs that were complete killing machines. What did a T-Rex with those teeth? banannas? What kind of diet did Jaws have in the ocean? Our life cycle is completely dependant on a chain. Anchovies live of plankton. Larger fish live off anchovies. There is no intelligent explanation out there that a young earth creationist can give that will convince me that death did not exist before the fall of man. It is impossible-given the physical and biolocical laws that God created. He didnt just create life. He created the laws that govern life. He didnt just create gravity. He created the LAWS that govern gravity.
God created all things for their unique purposes. To create a herbivorous (plant-eating) spider, shark, tiger or T-Rex--then--suddenly slam on the brakes and change its diet to a carnivorous one SPEEDS UP the evolutionary time table exponentially. Look at any carnivorous creature and you will see God's perfect design in it. A beautiful spider web. A beautifully muscualar tiger. Beautifully created, Carnivores.
Next: Part two: Adam
Monday, June 20, 2011
Book Update
All the corrections have been made. The artwork and cover have been resubmitted. The book will now go to the final design phase and I will have something in hand hopefully by August 1st!
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